Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Thank You for Everything by CJ

Today, Lola has been gone for 2 weeks. And now that we are all trying to move on with our normal life...I just want to make a special thanks to those who have dedicated, sacrificed and loved Lola these past years.

We are thankful for the unconditional support from our family and friends in the Philippines. Lola lived there for over 60 years so I cannot imagine how many lives she has touched. She was only with us for 25 years and has made a huge impact on everyone's lives she has enountered. Though the Philippines could not be here physically, they're moral support, prayers and phone calls to Lola made her happy. Lola loved every single person in the Philippines and always cheered up when the conversation was about them. Philippines is the reason why she always strived to get better...so that she could keep communicating with them and maybe even visit.

When Lola passed our family in the Philippines did everything in their power to make Lola's arrival beautiful and special. They have dedicated their time, money and efforts to make it easier. They loved her so much and we have all needed each others support to get through these tough times. A lot of effort was put into welcoming home Lola...to make people here from the U.S. feel at ease...and to make sure Lola was peacefully put to rest next to our Lolo. They did everything Lola asked for and even more...she would be so proud of everyone but most of all thankful to all of you.

And thank you for keeping our memories alive of Lola through your poems, memories and pictures. Lola enjoyed all these and I know is smiling from heaven.
To our family and friends here in California...thank you so much for your friendship, laughter and love you have given her. You are part of the reason who she was...you brought the best out of her. You entertained her, made her feel comfortable and listened to her stories. Thank you for your unconditional thoughts and prayers and making her smile.


Our family up north has been also amazing. Though they are not that far it is still a challenge to find the time and tiring to travel to Long Beach. But every chance they got, they either flew or drove to spend time with our dear Lola. And if they couldn't visit they made weekly phonecalls to catch up with Lola. When Lola fell ill everyone always made an effort to visit her and spend time. Sadly, when it was Auntie Baby's turn to watch Lola....Lola passed. But in hindsight I believe Lola was waiting for her. The night before she passed, Lola finally opened her eyes and made eye contact with Auntie Baby. A few hours later...Lola passed. And so thank you for coming...even though you were there to care for her...you were also the person she was waiting for...she stopped struggling because of you.

I would like to thank my sister, Maggie, for being there by Lola's side everyday...telling her stories, feeding her food, making her comfortable and just being there to support her. It has amazed me on how much she has grown, matured and given her time back to our Lola. She was our open communication when we couldn't be or see Lola. She took the time to take pictures, videos, live chat and whisper to Lola our messages. During all this she is juggling school, work and a life. When Lola was a little healthier Maggie would take our out on dates to get her out the house. She got to see wonderful fishes in aquariums, got to eat crab and eat out in the sun, and drove around Long Beach. She made their Doctor appointments special by having another field trip ever....she made that day something to look forward to. Lola will always appreciate everything that Maggie has done for her...she will cherish all the time she spent with her and will continue to guide her. She will be there when Maggie gets married and has kids. She will be there for Maggie like she always has...
Wes has been such a great addition to our family. Lola quickly fell in love with Wes and he also was a great candidate for all her jokes that everyone has heard. She called him Wells Fargo or West to the East. Wes was always so respectful and kind to her. He dedicated his time and prayers to Lola when she needed it the most. He took the time to visit and entertain her. A few days before Lola passed one of my favorite memories was when on a twin bed Wes, Maggie, Savannah, Me and the dogs all laid on the bed and faced Lola as she slept. We sat there for 2 hours without moving. We told stories, laughed, got sad, fed Lola and sat there in silence as we probably were all thinking the same thing. Wes was always offering how he could help and he has been so helpful. His family has even shown great amount of support and I know Lola would've loved him and them even more!


I'd like to also thank my Mom for stepping up when no one couldn't. The last months of Lola's life...when everyone's schedule couldn't accomdate the needs for Lola she was never hesitant to take off of work. If anyone knows her...she values her work very much so I know it must have not been easy to take off that much time. She quickly learned how to take care of Lola and she helped us buy more time we had with Lola. Lola had a special bond with her since they are both jokesters. They spent special moments in the hospital when mommy would give her the rare coffee or bread with butter for Lola to enjoy that wasnt in her regular diet. Or ow she always made sure Lola was always cleaned and refreshed. There was a time that she was washing Lola and Lola looked up and said "Ang sarap, salamat" ("It feels so good, thank you!") as she also would damp her face and hair to feel clean. I'd also like to thank my Dad who loved Lola so much. Lola and Dad always had a very special bond. They loved to kid around and they respected each other very much. Dad always had a special spot for her in his heart and Lola always knew how to get to him. He understood that Mommy wouldn't be around for who knew how long. He visited when he could...was the strong one when we were all down...took care of her funeral services when we all couldn't face that meeting. She always said thank you to him for everything but in reality we are all so thankful for what she has done for us.




Ate Corrie has also been a huge impact on Lola's life. If it weren't for her we don't know how Lola would've been cared for. She sacrified to not work and be there for Lola all day and night. She was Lola's caretaker and buddy. Ate Corrie spent the most time with her these last 3 years and they have created such a special bond. Everyday they enjoyed all their meals together, enjoyed their favorite shows, spoke to each other to make the day go by and when Lola fell ill she was there whole heartedly for her. She became her personal nurse: always made sure she was fll, made sure her sugar was controlled, took all her medicine and made sure she was entertained. Even though she is a daugther-in-law, she did all these things so everyone could work...she did these things caused she loved Lola so much...I couldn't ask for a better aunt. And thank you for Uncle Andy for always getting Lola food that she always enjoyed. Anything she requested he was already halfway out the door getting it for her. He enjoyed making her happy and enjoyed giving her things like: mangoes, ice cream and fruits that Lola viewed as gold!

There aren't enough words or thank yous to show the gratitude of appreciation that Auntie Monette has done. She has sacrificed not only time but has put her life on hold to make sure Lola lived as long as she did. Being the youngest child they always had a special bond but when she moved here to the U.S. their bond became even closer. And when Lola fell ill she dedicated her life to make Lola better. She knew Lola inside out, from all her medications, food she needed to eat, what made her happy and how to make Lola laugh. Even though Auntie Monette couldn't stay with her at home...her mind and heart was always at home with Lola. Every chance she got she would call home and check on her. After every meal she would ask what Lola's score was with her sugar. When Lola fell deathly ill at the hospital she was always hopeful that Lola would recover and would be 100% back to normal. She was the one when they wanted to do procedures or put her life support or to put her into a home to fight the doctors and say just give her one more chance to recover herself. And through those hours she'd work with Lola to recover and show the doctors she was able to go home. She sacrificed any sort of social life and kept Lola company every minute she could. I know it had to be hard to accept that Lola was about to pass but when she did...she still sacrificed all the energy she had in her. She prayed over Lola day and night and made sure she was comfortable. Prayed hard and would whisper that we will all be okay. Their role as mother and child switched at some point and I cannot imagine how her heart is feeling. But she wouldn't be as okay today if it weren't for Uncle Jun. Uncle Jun took on the roll as cooke and house husband. He didn't expect a single thing out of Auntie Monette but to be by Lola's side. He did all the cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, folding laundry, and cleaning. Just so Auntie Monette could focus on Lola. He has been such a great support system to our whole family and has been an even more amazing support system for Auntie Monette as she finds a way to cope and grieve. He loved Lola as if she were his own mother...and she loved him as her own son. If it weren't for these two, Lola would not have been in our world as long as she was. Auntie Monette had such a special bond that when she told Lola "Let's just sleep"...Lola took two last breaths and passed in her arms...




And of course I would like to thank Savannah and Neal. Even though Savannah doesn't understand what is going on...somehow she knew that I needed her. I lugged her numerous times to Long Beach and she was always such a good baby. There were times we'd wake up so early in the morning, sit in traffic, spend the whole day at Lola's house and leave late at night. Never once did she throw a tantrum. Never once did she throw a fit in the car. Never once did she show me that she was unhappy that we were at someone else's house. Instead, she made everyone smile. She made Lola smile even at her weakest moments. She brought me back to reality, she made me smile and gave me hugs when she felt that I was sad. There are days that I thought she couldn't understand but there are days that I really believe she knows something is going on. When we were at Lola's bedside...she knew how to use a 'quiet' voice...she knew that if she grabbed Lola's arm that it had to be a little more gentle...she knew that when Lola opened her eyes she would flash Lola a smile. She just knew. And there was a time when I thought Lola couldn't hear or feel us near her...but all of a sudden she took her arm out from her blanket and knew exactly where Savannah's hand was. As Lola laid there and Savannah sat on her bed...for five minutes they just held each other's hand. Savannah didn't pull it away or amazingly didn't get bored how a normal 7 month old would. It was an amazing thing to witness. So thank you Savannah for loving Lola when you didn't even know you were loving her. Thank you for bringing me back to reality and making me feel loved when I was so sad. But most of all thank you for being so understanding and such a good baby every time we visited and you had no crib, no toys, no play area for you to be in. Thank you for being such a sweet little girl.

Neal, thank you for always understanding when all I wanted to do on our free time was to be with Lola. You didn't care if we spent our whole weekend at Lola's house. When Lola always fell back into the hospital you always dropped everything to drive me so that I would make it safely there. When I couldn't go to the hospital because Savannah and I got sick you would always reassure me that Lola would understand. And when Lola finally passed...you put all your needs aside and let me grieve the way I needed to. For over 2 weeks we haven't been home...I needed to be with family and you sacrificed sleeping in different rooms, sacrificed every night to make it to the prayers even though you had a long day ahead of you the next day. You come home every night and take over Savannah just so I could look at pictures and write stories about Lola. You let me talk all days and nights of the hours...even in the middle of the night when I feel I need to share a thought or story about Lola. Thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me and my family. Thank you for loving Lola the way I have. And thank you for helping me grieve.

There are not enough words, appreciation, or thank yous to express how everyone has contributed your time, love and effort towards Lola. Many of her last words to people were "Salamat" ("Thank You")


So all I can say is Salamat...

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