While Lola was still alive Maggie and I would always fight for Lola's love. We always joked around with her and would ask and even bribe her to say who her favorite person was. She would never admit but behind closed doors she would whisper and share who it was.
Neal asked me on the night of the viewing "What is Lola's favorite color?" For the first time I didn't know the answer...and it made me sad that I didn't know that about Lola. The best answer I came up with was that she loved them equally and gave them all the same attention. But later that night I couldn't settle with that conclusion so I asked Ate Monette. She had the same look on my face that I had...and quickly replied "They were all her favorite!"
When she passed away it obviously affected everyone. Day by day...I heard everyone's story with her...everyone's little secrets...everyone's little inside jokes with her...everyone's story of how she made them feel that she was their favorite.
We all have that special bond with her and in return..she made us all feel that we were her special person. She and I have a comedic/loving bond. She always made me feel special and her favorite because we had the love for the arts and details. We loved telling stories and spending time together. She had a special bond with my sister from birth. They have a special blanket that they share and went out on dates. Then I slowly found out that her secret atm codes are Ate Norie's birthday...even though she was thousands of miles away she has a special place in her heart. Every person she has loved she has taken a little bit of their secrets with her throughout life.
With her sons and daugthers...she always made them feel like they were the favorite...would tell them not to tell the other sibling that she gave them this or told them that...but in reality she has equally done the same to others. But because you thought you had that special bond with her...you never let the other people know because you wanted that one special bond to be between you and her.
It is amazing how humble, simple and ordinary Lola was. But by doing all these humble, simple, ordinary things...it has made her amazing, unique and extraordinary.
How I would love to sit her down now and find out all her favorites and secrets...
Even after she has passed...we are still learning lessons from her everyday. The favortism wasn't the type of favorism that made people feel jealous or obvious...it was the type of favorism that made you and others feel warm, comforted and loved.So, today...go out and tell someone a secret or inside joke between you two...go out and make someone feel that they are your favorite but make sure that at the end of the day...you love everyone equally and let them know...
thank you lola for this lesson.
No comments:
Post a Comment